Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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