i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
