I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
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Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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