The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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