the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
