We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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