just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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