i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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