My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize