Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize