So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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