She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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