just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
me + whiskey = a bad person
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
