My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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