Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
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oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
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