chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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