She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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