We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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