***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
