new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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