i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
