Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
