What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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