Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
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Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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