This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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