I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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