He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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