All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
