Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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