This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
