her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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