I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
