I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
