I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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