They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
