i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
