And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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