I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
