Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
