Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
