sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
