I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
