so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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