i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize