Only a mothe r could love this liver
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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