she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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