did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
