you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
