Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
