I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize