we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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