in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If that was your dad, he is hot
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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