I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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