No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I need to calm my uterus...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
