And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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