guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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