i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
