Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
