My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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