oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
