i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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