what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
