I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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